Despite mantras to the contrary, attempting to travel through life \u201cfearlessly\u201d is rarely wise. Fear is a fine-tuned survival mechanism. It helps keep us safe on the edge of a cliff or walking down a dark road. It prompts us to proceed carefully in conversations marked by power imbalance or when we have a lot on the line. While unchecked fear and generalized anxiety are problems, escaping fear altogether is not the solution.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s courage we\u2019re after. Courage means doing the difficult thing in the face of your fear. You don\u2019t have to stop being afraid to be courageous. It\u2019s quite the opposite. Courage is only possible in the presence of fear. And today is about courage. Because it\u2019s time to confront the three fears most likely to hold you back from the Double Win.<\/p>\n
A little risk aversion is a healthy thing. It can protect us from unwise decisions and costly stumbles. A mild fear of failure can prompt us to slow down, weigh possibilities, and guard against the least preferable outcomes.<\/p>\n
However, most breakthroughs require some risk. And all growth requires a willingness to get uncomfortable. In fact, we suggest people set goals in their \u201cDiscomfort Zone.\u201d A goal that\u2019s appropriately risky usually creates a sense of fear, uncertainty, and doubt: these emotions are all signs you\u2019re on the right track.<\/em><\/p>\n So, how can you combat a fear of failure? Naming it goes a long way. Try answering the questions: What could this make possible? What is the belief behind my fear\u2014and is it true? What resources could I leverage to course-correct if necessary?<\/p>\n Perhaps the best single strategy is to start framing the new risk as an experiment. In experiments, failure is just datahelping to shape your future decisions. We\u2019ve tried this with our six-hour workday, asynchronous work, and adopting Slack to replace internal email, just to name a few. Start by defining what you\u2019re going to try, for how long, and when the feedback period will be. Then, give it a go. Failure is data on the way to success.<\/p>\n If you find yourself saying \u201cyes\u201d when you want to say \u201cno,\u201d it\u2019s possible you may have a fear of disappointing others. It feels good to be sought after, and high achievers are likely to field more incoming requests due to their reputation for reliability and excellence. But your \u201cyes\u201d comes at a cost.<\/p>\n As Warren Buffet once said, \u201cThe difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.\u201d<\/p>\n One of the best tools for combatting this fear is called the \u201cPositive No,\u201d a strategy created by Harvard professor William Ury. It says this:<\/p>\n Here\u2019s an example. Your brother just asked you for help filing his new company\u2019s taxes because you have a background in accounting. You might say:<\/p>\n It\u2019s a busy season at work, and I\u2019m trying to make the most of the time I have with my family at home. I do think it\u2019s a wise idea to seek help filing your company\u2019s taxes this year, but I can\u2019t be the person to help. I can send you information about two straightforward online resources that include access to experts, or I could send you the information of two of my colleagues who could help you for a reasonable price. I\u2019d even be willing to pitch in on the cost! What do you think?<\/em><\/p>\n It takes a little more effort, but you\u2019ll feel good saying No. <\/em>In the meantime, you can adopt a policy like, \u201cI always wait 24 hours before saying yes to a new opportunity.\u201d It might keep you from saying yes <\/em>too quickly.<\/p>\n Usually, saying \u201cno\u201d won\u2019t make others disappointed in you. It will make them respect you.<\/p>\n Overwork is frequently a tactic of avoidance.<\/p>\n People who feel like failures as spouses or parents but experience success at work find themselves spending long hours at the office. People who struggle to establish a sense of confidence or self-worth might crave the praise their performance earns. People who have felt chronically unseen might work harder and longer to earn admiration from their colleagues.<\/p>\n You\u2019re a whole person designed to live an integrated life. Your body, spirit, mind, relationships, work\u2014everything is interconnected. And avoiding a problem doesn\u2019t make it go away. It makes it grow. Sitting with our internal world can open the door to the change we need.<\/p>\n If you find yourself working too much in this season, what might you be avoiding? Who <\/em>might you be avoiding? What might be the next right step to solving the real problem? And who can come alongside you to help on the journey?<\/p>\n You don\u2019t need to be ashamed when you find yourself afraid. Be kind and patient with yourself. Then, take the next courageous step in the right direction. Breakthroughs are just around the corner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Despite mantras to the contrary, attempting to travel through life \u201cfearlessly\u201d is rarely wise. Fear is a fine-tuned survival mechanism. It helps keep us safe on the edge of a cliff or walking down a dark road. It prompts us to proceed carefully in conversations marked by power imbalance or when we have a lot […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":54843,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Fear of Disappointing Others<\/h2>\n
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The Fear of Confronting Our Reality<\/h2>\n