{"id":4970,"date":"2010-02-02T04:00:37","date_gmt":"2010-02-02T10:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhyatt.com\/2010\/02\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations.html"},"modified":"2010-02-02T04:00:37","modified_gmt":"2010-02-02T10:00:37","slug":"how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"

In one of the comments<\/a> regarding yesterday\u2019s post, my friend, Ron Edmondson<\/a>, said, \u201cI would love to sit at your dinner table sometime. Great conversations!\u201d As I read that, I thought, We <\/em>do have great conversations around our dinner table!<\/em> Then I realized that these don\u2019t happen by accident.<\/p>\n\n

Over the years, my wife, Gail<\/a>, and I have developed a set of conversational rules that we use at the dinner table. We have never written these down. They are largely unarticulated. However, over the years we have done our best to maximize these opportunities and to make eating more about the discussion than the food\u2014though we certainly enjoy good food!<\/p>\n\n

Here are eight ways we create engaging dinner-time conversations. I have found that they work at home, with friends, and even at work.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Consciously seek out conducive environments.<\/strong> In order to have meaningful conversations, you must be able to hear one another. We don\u2019t mind background music. In fact, it can help create the right atmosphere. But it cannot be so loud that you find yourself struggling to hear.<\/li>\n
  2. Have only one conversation at a time.<\/strong> We learned this from Luci Swindoll<\/a>. We went to her home for dinner one night. As we were sitting down to eat, she graciously said, \u201cI only have one rule, and that is that we have one\u2014and only one\u2014conversation at a time. We can talk about anything you like. I really don\u2019t care. But just one conversation.\u201d This one rule<\/a> transformed<\/em> our dinner conversations.<\/li>\n
  3. Ask open-ended questions.<\/strong> As the hosts, Gail and I have a singular goal: we try to ask interesting questions. We try to make these questions open-ended,<\/em> so that people must elaborate and give us some insight into them as a person. For example,\n
      \n
    • What is your idea of a perfect vacation?<\/li>\n
    • If you could design your ideal job, what would it look like?<\/li>\n
    • What is the best book you have read in the last 12 months and why?<\/li>\n
    • What is the most important lesson you learned from your father?<\/li>\n
    • When is your very favorite thing about your spouse?<\/li>\n
    • If you were by yourself, and could listen to any music you want, what would it be?<\/li>\n
    • If you could spend a day with anyone on the planet, who would it be?<\/li>\n
    • What it is like to be your friend? or<\/em> to be married to you?<\/li>\n
    • If you were suddenly the President of the U.S., what would you do first?<\/li>\n
    • Looking back over your life, what would you describe as your proudest moment?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
    • Ask a second question.<\/strong> The most interesting conversations come after<\/em> the initial answer. It takes extraordinary discipline to refrain from answering your own question and, instead, ask a second question. Yet this is where the deepest conversations occur. I like to ask questions like these as follow-up questions:\n
        \n
      • How did it feel when that happened?<\/li>\n
      • Can you elaborate on that?<\/li>\n
      • Why do you think that is important to you?<\/li>\n
      • Do you think you would have answered the same way five years ago?<\/li>\n
      • What emotion do you feel when you describe that?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
      • Draw out those who are reticent to speak.<\/strong> In any group, there are people who are naturally talkers and those who are content to listen. I try to draw out the latter. As the saying goes, \u201cStill waters run deep.\u201d Sometimes your best contributions come from those who won\u2019t answer unless you ask. I simply say, \u201c[Name], what do you think about that?\u201d<\/li>\n
      • Pay attention to people\u2019s physical needs.<\/strong> When we have guests in our home, I am constantly scanning the table to see who needs drink refills or who might like a second helping. I don\u2019t want my guests to think about these things, so the conversation can be the primary focus. This requires that you see yourself as a facilitator and a servant.<\/li>\n
      • Do more listening than talking.<\/strong> You must cultivate self-awareness before you can get good at this. You must be aware of the rhythm inherent in any conversation. How much are they<\/em> talking? How much are you<\/em> talking? Focusing on asking questions is the key. If you do this well, you will find yourself talking less and listening more.<\/li>\n
      • Affirm people, even if you disagree with them.<\/strong> I am actually more interested in people I disagree with. I think this is because I have the potential of learning something new. I am intrigued by the fact that they hold a view different than my own. As a result, I try to \u201csee\u201d what they see and experience life from their perspective. Even when I disagree, I find myself saying, \u201cThat is fascinating. How did you come to that conclusion?\u201d or \u201cWow. Can you elaborate?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        The older I get, the more I relish great conversations with friends. I love getting to know the people in my life and learning from them.<\/p>\n

        What things have you found helpful in generating more meaningful conversations?<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Over the years, my wife, Gail, and I have developed a set of conversational rules that we use at the dinner table. We have ever written these down. They are largely unarticulated. However, over the years we have done our best to maximize these opportunities and to make eating more about the discussion than the food. Here are eight things we do to create engaging dinner-time conversations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[236,1484,371,33,663,1485,227],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Have Better Dinner Conversations - Michael Hyatt<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Great dinner conversations don't just happen; they are caused. Here are eight ways you can create discussions that people won't forget.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations - Michael Hyatt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Great dinner conversations don't just happen; they are caused. Here are eight ways you can create discussions that people won't forget.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Full Focus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/FullFocus-OpenGraph-GENERAL.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"630\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Michael Hyatt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@michaelhyatt\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Michael Hyatt\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7\"},\"headline\":\"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/\"},\"wordCount\":845,\"commentCount\":118,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"conversation\",\"Dinner\",\"Friendships\",\"Leadership\",\"Listening\",\"Moments\",\"questions\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Leadership\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/\",\"name\":\"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations - Michael Hyatt\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00\",\"description\":\"Great dinner conversations don't just happen; they are caused. Here are eight ways you can create discussions that people won't forget.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/\",\"name\":\"Full Focus\",\"description\":\"Win at Work and Succeed at Life\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Full Focus\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg\",\"width\":805,\"height\":178,\"caption\":\"Full Focus\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/fullfocusplanner\/\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7\",\"name\":\"Michael Hyatt\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Michael Hyatt\"},\"description\":\"Michael Hyatt is the founder and chairman of Full Focus. He has scaled multiple companies over the years, including a $250M publishing company with 700+ employees and his own leadership development company that has grown over 60% year over year for the past 4 years. Under his leadership, Full Focus has been featured in the Inc. 5000 list of the fastest-growing companies in America for three years in a row and in 2020 the company was named to Inc.\u2019s Best Work Places list. He is also the author of several New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling books, including Platform, Living Forward, Your Best Year Ever, Free to Focus and his newest book The Vision Driven Leader. He enjoys The Double Win with his wife of 40+ years, five daughters, and nine grandchildren.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\",\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/michaelhyatt\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/author\/michaelhyatt\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations - Michael Hyatt","description":"Great dinner conversations don't just happen; they are caused. Here are eight ways you can create discussions that people won't forget.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations - Michael Hyatt","og_description":"Great dinner conversations don't just happen; they are caused. Here are eight ways you can create discussions that people won't forget.","og_url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/","og_site_name":"Full Focus","article_publisher":"https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/","article_published_time":"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1200,"height":630,"url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/FullFocus-OpenGraph-GENERAL.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Michael Hyatt","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@michaelhyatt","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/"},"author":{"name":"Michael Hyatt","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7"},"headline":"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations","datePublished":"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00","dateModified":"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/"},"wordCount":845,"commentCount":118,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization"},"keywords":["conversation","Dinner","Friendships","Leadership","Listening","Moments","questions"],"articleSection":["Leadership"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/","name":"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations - Michael Hyatt","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00","dateModified":"2010-02-02T10:00:37+00:00","description":"Great dinner conversations don't just happen; they are caused. Here are eight ways you can create discussions that people won't forget.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/how-to-have-better-dinner-conversations\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Have Better Dinner Conversations"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/","name":"Full Focus","description":"Win at Work and Succeed at Life","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization","name":"Full Focus","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg","width":805,"height":178,"caption":"Full Focus"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/fullfocusplanner\/"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7","name":"Michael Hyatt","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Michael Hyatt"},"description":"Michael Hyatt is the founder and chairman of Full Focus. He has scaled multiple companies over the years, including a $250M publishing company with 700+ employees and his own leadership development company that has grown over 60% year over year for the past 4 years. Under his leadership, Full Focus has been featured in the Inc. 5000 list of the fastest-growing companies in America for three years in a row and in 2020 the company was named to Inc.\u2019s Best Work Places list. He is also the author of several New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling books, including Platform, Living Forward, Your Best Year Ever, Free to Focus and his newest book The Vision Driven Leader. He enjoys The Double Win with his wife of 40+ years, five daughters, and nine grandchildren.","sameAs":["https:\/\/fullfocus.co","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/michaelhyatt"],"url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/author\/michaelhyatt\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4970"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4970"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4970\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4970"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4970"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4970"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}