{"id":4792,"date":"2010-01-20T06:00:35","date_gmt":"2010-01-20T11:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhyatt.com\/2010\/01\/finding-the-courage-to-speak-up.html"},"modified":"2010-01-20T06:00:35","modified_gmt":"2010-01-20T11:00:35","slug":"finding-the-courage-to-speak-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/finding-the-courage-to-speak-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding the Courage to Speak Up"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I don\u2019t like conflict. In fact, sometimes I think I am conflictaphobic. (I just made that word up.) I will do almost anything to avoid it.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/01\/iStock_000003968546Small.jpg\" width=\"570\" height=\"379\" alt=\"Concept image of young voiceless businessman Photo courtesy of \u00a9iStockphoto.com\/Zemdega, Image #3968546\" title=\"Concept image of young voiceless businessman Photo courtesy of \u00a9iStockphoto.com\/Zemdega, Image #3968546\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<div style=\"font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:10px; line-height:12px; margin-bottom:10px; margin-top:-12px; padding:0px; text-align:center; width:570px;\">Photo courtesy of \u00a9iStockphoto.com\/Zemdega<\/div>\n<p>As a result, especially early in my career, I would keep my real opinions to myself. I didn\u2019t want to get in trouble. I thought that if I just complied with the system and kept my mouth shut, I would get ahead.<\/p>\n<p>This was a pretty good strategy for a while. But it didn\u2019t really work once people were counting on me to lead.<\/p>\n<p>Why didn\u2019t I want to speak up? I could feign altruism by saying, \u201cI didn\u2019t want to hurt other people\u2019s feelings.\u201d But that would be a lie. The truth is that <em>I was afraid.<\/em> It was all about me.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"singlespace\">I didn\u2019t want to be embarrassed.<\/li>\n<li class=\"singlespace\">I didn\u2019t want to lose face.<\/li>\n<li class=\"singlespace\">I didn\u2019t want to be wrong.<\/li>\n<li class=\"singlespace\">I didn\u2019t want others to think less of me.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So, I kept quiet. Funny thing is I kept finding myself in situations where I <em>had<\/em> to speak up. If I didn\u2019t, someone would pay an awful price for my personal comfort.<\/p>\n<p>Years ago, soon after I became head of one of our publishing divisions, I had to confront one of my authors. He was pleasant and cooperative when I spoke with him. But he was demanding, uncooperative, and downright nasty to my staff. Finally, one of them came to me in tears and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but I just can\u2019t take it any more.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I had to make a choice.<\/p>\n<p>I could let it go, hoping he would improve without intervention &#8230; or I could speak up. I wrestled with it all night. I tossed and turned. I got sick to my stomach. I played out every scenario.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, things came into focus: I could either be brave and call him on it or I could be a coward and stop growing as a leader.<\/p>\n<p>Thankfully, I decided to confront him. The next morning I called his cell phone. I was shaking so much, I could barely hold the phone.<\/p>\n<p>I went over the facts. I told him that his behavior was unacceptable. I explained that he would call each of my staff and apologize. He would then send flowers to the person he had offended the most. And if he didn\u2019t? I would stop publication of his book and send him packing.<\/p>\n<p>I was dead serious, and he knew it. To my surprise, he did exactly what I had asked.<\/p>\n<p>I learned an important lesson that day. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to act <em>in spite of<\/em> your fear.<\/p>\n<p>My people also learned an important lesson. They learned that I was willing to stand up for them, even at the expense of my own comfort. It drew us closer together as a team.<\/p>\n<p>Frankly, I still find it difficult to be brave. I don\u2019t consider myself to be a courageous person. But now having several of these experiences under my belt, it is a little easier. Now I just notice the fear, pull up my big boy pants, and lean into the situation.<\/p>\n<p>If I can do it, you can, too.<\/p>\n<div style=\"color:#000033; font-style:italic;font-weight:bold;margin-bottom:16px;\">Question: Where do you need to find the courage to speak up? What\u2019s holding you back.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don\u2019t like conflict. In fact, sometimes I think I am conflictaphobic. (I just made that word up.) I will do almost anything to avoid it. However, soon after I became head of one of our publishing divisions, I had to confront one of my authors. He was pleasant and cooperative when I spoke with him. But he was demanding, uncooperative, and downright nasty to my staff. Finally, one of them came to me, nearly in tears, and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but I just can\u2019t take it any more.\u201d I had to make a choice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[363,697,18,1151,33,1152],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Finding the Courage to Speak Up | Full Focus<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/finding-the-courage-to-speak-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Finding the Courage to Speak Up | Full Focus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I don\u2019t like conflict. In fact, sometimes I think I am conflictaphobic. (I just made that word up.) I will do almost anything to avoid it. However, soon after I became head of one of our publishing divisions, I had to confront one of my authors. He was pleasant and cooperative when I spoke with him. But he was demanding, uncooperative, and downright nasty to my staff. 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