{"id":39718,"date":"2018-01-09T04:45:03","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T10:45:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/michaelhyatt.com\/?p=39718"},"modified":"2018-01-09T04:45:03","modified_gmt":"2018-01-09T10:45:03","slug":"reluctant-goal-setter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/reluctant-goal-setter\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions of a Reluctant Goal Setter"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have a confession to make. It\u2019s that time of year again: Everyone is talking about setting goals, New Year\u2019s resolutions, and how this year is finally going to be different from the last. For most of my life, I resisted\u2014no, actually I rebelled!<\/em>\u2014against the whole idea of goal setting. I hated the very word goal.<\/p>\n

And now I find myself married to one of the foremost experts in the field of goal setting and productivity. His newest book, Your Best Year Ever<\/a><\/em>, has just been released. Discussions about setting and achieving goals are everywhere we turn.<\/p>\n

Michael has always been one who has set goals and he thrives on envisioning a future that is bigger than his past. On tests like StrengthsFinder<\/a>, Achievement is his very top strength. Not so much for me. Achievement is at the bottom of my strengths list. We are so<\/em> different. So how does someone like me survive this time of year in a world like this?<\/p>\n

First, a little background<\/h3>\n

Growing up as the only girl with four older brothers, I lived life on the fly. I was spontaneous, playful, and undisciplined (some might say even a little spoiled). When I was twenty-three I fell in love with Michael, and we got married. There were so many things I loved about him. I knew he was the type who would succeed at whatever he put his mind to. He was intentional, focused, purposeful, and disciplined. He was everything I was not. I felt secure with him.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

But, as is often the case, what first attracts us to someone becomes the very thing that later annoys us. We both wanted to change each other. I wanted him to be more playful, and he wanted me to be more disciplined. As time went on we developed our secret resentments for each other and became defensive toward each other. Those were not pleasant years.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, with the help of wonderful mentors and amazing counselors, we were able to navigate those times. We emerged, five daughters, eight grandchildren and many years later, more in love and more committed to each other than when we began our life together. We learned (and continue to learn) to be fascinated with each other and our differences. We moved from attraction to annoyance and then, finally, to appreciation.<\/p>\n

However, we were still different. We were still ourselves. As Michael began to focus more on goals and goal-setting in his business and personal life, I resisted the (perceived) pressure to become someone I wasn\u2019t. Because in my mind there were only two types of people:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Goal-Setters<\/th>\nNon Goal-Setters<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
Highly focused<\/td>\nGo with the flow<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Organized<\/td>\nLike to keep their options open<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Results oriented<\/td>\nDon't like accountability<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

The non goal-setter description fit me to a T. And I was happy with \u201cme\u201d just the way I was. So I was surprised when I found resentment began to resurface. The truth was I had a deep-seated belief: I was afraid if I set a goal, I wouldn\u2019t be able to achieve it\u2014so it was better not to try.<\/p>\n\t\t