I was recently talking to a neighbor about an ordinance being considered by our city council. She didn\u2019t like it and felt strongly that it shouldn\u2019t pass. She went on to make the case to me, raising several valid points I had not considered before.<\/p>\n\n
I reminded her that the city was holding a public hearing on the matter before the council voted and asked if she planned to attend. \u201cNo,\u201d she immediately replied, \u201cI don\u2019t have any influence.\u201d<\/p>\n
Clearly, she misunderstood the nature of influence. Many of us do.<\/p>\n\n
Most people think they can\u2019t have influence without more reach, higher education, longer experience, better skills, or a bigger title. While all those are important and can increase your ability to influence others, none of them is essential.<\/p>\n
So what is?<\/p>\n
When it comes to influencing others, it really comes down to a solid foundation\u2014something anyone can acquire. All you need are these four simple behaviors.<\/p>\n
In order to influence others, you have to be willing to show up. Before people can like<\/a> or trust you<\/a>, they have to know you. They can\u2019t get to know you unless you give them the opportunity.<\/p>\n You won\u2019t be able to influence others if your beliefs and your behavior are not in alignment. The most difficult person to lead\u2014and thus influence\u2014is yourself. You don\u2019t have to get it perfect. We are each a work in progress, but there has to be a fundamental integrity<\/a> between our words and our actions. (I\u2019ll share more about this on Wednesday.)<\/p>\n As the old saying goes, \u201cPeople don\u2019t care what you think until they think you care.\u201d You have to be willing to listen<\/a> without judgment (at least initially). You have to see the situation from the other person\u2019s point of view.<\/p>\n You have to be willing to speak up. Your words won\u2019t mean much if you:<\/p>\n [These are in the order they are for a specific reason.]<\/p>\n Assuming you are not guilty of those things, you also have to find the courage to speak up. Sometimes it\u2019s to lend support to an idea you believe in. Other times, like the case with my neighbor, it\u2019s to challenge an idea you don\u2019t<\/em> believe in. Regardless, people can\u2019t read your mind. Unless you speak up, you won\u2019t have influence.<\/p>\n\t\t2. Be Consistent<\/h4>\n
3. Be Empathetic<\/h4>\n
4. Be Counted<\/h4>\n
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