she<\/em> needed to seek therapy.<\/p>\nAfter a few sessions with the counselor, Gail informed me, \u201cDr. Pannebecker would like you at our next counseling session.\u201d<\/p>\n
Eventually, this helped us to better understand and value our differences\u2014which have been critical in helping us both grow and become who we are today. And that takes me to my third rule for a marriage you love.<\/p>\n
Rule 3: Get Outside Support<\/h3>\n
I learned that it\u2019s not only okay to seek outside help, it is necessary to do so from time to time.<\/p>\n
Consuming marriage-related blogs, books, and podcasts can help. But if you want to accelerate your results, it\u2019s best to talk to a qualified counselor who can help you recalibrate expectations and refine your approach.<\/p>\n
Couples routinely go through premarital counseling but then are resistant to therapy once married. Maybe it feels like an admission of failure. But that\u2019s exactly the wrong way of looking at it. Whether it\u2019s my finances, my fitness, or my plumbing, when I get stuck, I call in help. Why wouldn\u2019t I do that for my marriage?<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s the healthy people that come for counseling,\u201d a counselor once told me. Why? Because it\u2019s healthy to admit that you can\u2019t do it all on your own and could use some perspective.<\/p>\n
Even if you can\u2019t afford counseling\u2014and therapy can sometimes be expensive\u2014there are a lot of alternatives. Some ministers, for instance, will counsel couples for free.<\/p>\n
What matters most is the determination to get outside support. If you\u2019re motivated and creative, I\u2019m confident that you\u2019ll find the help you need to create a marriage you love. I bet there are a lot more people than the two of you depending on it, both at home and at work.<\/p>\n\t\t