8 percent<\/a> will be successful.<\/p>\nBut don\u2019t think about the percentages. Think about all those individuals.<\/p>\n
That means by this time next year about 138 million of us will still have the weight we wanted to shed, the debt we pledged to pay down, and the bad habits we hoped to put behind us.<\/p>\n
Maybe you\u2019ll be one of them.<\/p>\n
The good news is that it doesn\u2019t have to be that way.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve had my share of resolution letdowns. But I\u2019ve also learned a lot over the years about how to set goals that stick. That\u2019s what separates the successful 8 percent from the disappointed 92.<\/p>\n
Peak fitness, meaningful relationships, financial health\u2014they\u2019re all attainable, but not<\/em> if you set your resolutions the way most people do.<\/p>\nIf you\u2019re setting resolutions for 2016, there are at least ten ways you might be sabotaging your own success.<\/p>\n
\n- Doubt success is possible.<\/strong> One of the most important aspects of success is believing it\u2019s possible. But often we don\u2019t, especially with resolutions.\n
How many times have we failed to lose weight, better our finances, or improve our most important relationships? Every time we fail, it\u2019s as if we\u2019re sure success is further away. And yet success is possible\u2014and vital.<\/p>\n
Our health, wealth, and relationships matter. We have to believe that improvement is possible. Once we get past our own doubts and truly believe that\u2019s so, we can begin moving the right direction.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
- Learn nothing from the past.<\/strong> Sometimes the reason we\u2019re trapped in doubts about what\u2019s possible is that we haven\u2019t really dealt with the past.\n
How do you feel about the last year? What went right? What went wrong? It\u2019s only after we learn the lessons from the past year that we can begin to plan something better for the next.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Establish conflicting goals.<\/strong> Sometimes we have great goals, but they don\u2019t really fit with our current reality.<\/p>\nMaybe it\u2019s a career goal that doesn\u2019t mesh with our family life, or a personal goal that interferes with our professional responsibilities. Regardless of what it is, the more friction the less momentum.<\/p>\n
If we want to make progress, we have to make sure our goals align across the board.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Stay inside your comfort zone.<\/strong> Most of us like to play it safe. Who wouldn\u2019t? But when we set unchallenging goals, we\u2019re almost sure to fail.<\/p>\nFirst, unchallenging goals can\u2019t energize and inspire us. If a goal doesn\u2019t demand anything of you, it can\u2019t drive anything in you.<\/p>\n
Second, unchallenging goals don\u2019t engage our creativity, resourcefulness, or persistence. And that means we don\u2019t get far, no matter what goals we set.<\/p>\n
Only goals that take us outside our comfort zone enable us to rise to the occasion. The rest just leave us standing still.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Avoid deadlines.<\/strong> This relates to No. 4. Nothing makes us more uncomfortable than a deadline.<\/p>\nSaying we\u2019ll lose weight in the new year is different than saying we\u2019ll lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date. That kind of specificity ups the ante.<\/p>\n
And it works for start dates as well as end dates. Saying, for instance, you\u2019ll hire a personal trainer by x<\/em> date removes your wiggle room.<\/p>\nWhatever it is\u2014quitting a job, joining a gym, writing a chapter\u2014deadlines drive action.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Set uninspiring goals.<\/strong> Sometimes we make resolutions that lack any intrinsic drive. Getting fit is great, but what if that by itself doesn\u2019t sustain the necessary discipline?<\/p>\nPeople do what they want. We have to want change and improvement in whatever area or we won\u2019t do what\u2019s necessary to get it. And the research shows external rewards are fleeting.<\/p>\n
Without tapping into some deeper internal reward, we\u2019re almost sure to flame out fast.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Stay squishy.<\/strong> Most people make New Year\u2019s resolutions like this:<\/p>\n\n- Eat healthy<\/li>\n
- Exercise more<\/li>\n
- Spend more time with my spouse<\/li>\n
- Pay down my debt<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
But here\u2019s the problem. How do you know if you\u2019re succeeding? Without any internal criteria to judge our progress, we\u2019re less likely to make progress.<\/p>\n
If we want a goal that stand a chance of success we have to preload it with criteria we can measure. What does eating healthy actually look like? Or exercising more?<\/p>\n
How much more time are you planning on spending with your spouse and when? Same with debt. Or any other goal.<\/p>\n
If we can\u2019t measure it, we can\u2019t judge our progress. And when we can\u2019t see how far we\u2019ve come or how far we have to go, it\u2019s easy to lose interest and quit.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Go broad.<\/strong> The moment we get objective, we can feel boxed in. We sometimes like to leave things vague, don\u2019t we? If we get clear on the target, we create the possibility of missing it.<\/p>\nBut, per No. 7, that not only means we\u2019ll be unable to judge our progress, it also means we\u2019ll miss the spur that comes with specificity.<\/p>\n
Which stands a better chance of completion: saying \u201cI\u2019ll exercise\u201d or saying \u201cI\u2019ll go for a two mile walk every morning before breakfast\u201d? \u201cI\u2019ll spend more time with my family\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll start preparing to leave the office each day at 4:45 p.m.\u201d?<\/p>\n
The more specific we get, the more likely we\u2019ll know what to do and actually do it.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Don\u2019t worry about your motivation.<\/strong> Other times we set our goals but don\u2019t really think through why they\u2019re important to us.<\/p>\nSure, getting fit matters. But why? Getting out of debt is desirable. But why? Improving our relationships is good. But why? When we\u2019re not clear on the why<\/em>, it\u2019s easy to lose our way.<\/p>\nIf we want to make progress in the areas that matter most, we have to connect with what\u2019s at stake. What do we gain if we meet our goals? Just as important, what do we lose if we don\u2019t?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
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Stay satisfied with the status quo.<\/strong> A lot of people never make progress on their goals because they\u2019re satisfied with where they are, despite what they say.<\/p>\nPeople can be very skilled at coping. We can manage even the worst of circumstances. That\u2019s good and bad. The bad comes when we\u2019re willing to endure negative circumstances we have the power to change.<\/p>\n
Sometimes all that stands in our way is our own inaction. Making a list is different than making a change. The list is a necessary beginning, but it\u2019s only a beginning.<\/p>\n
If our goals matter, they matter enough to start scheduling. They matter enough to start breaking down into actionable steps. They matter enough share with friends who will keep us accountable.<\/p>\n
And they also matter enough to celebrate when we make headway.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
There\u2019s a reason traditional New Year\u2019s resolutions fail time and again. They\u2019re based on a faulty system built on bad assumptions.<\/p>\n\t\t