I hear from people all the time who feel stuck in bad jobs, bad habits, and bad relationships. And when it comes down to it, I have one single piece of advice.<\/p>\n\n
It\u2019s pretty simple, actually. Ready? Here it goes: Stop thinking about it.<\/em> No, I don\u2019t mean live in denial. What I do mean is shift your focus.<\/p>\n I lived many of my early professional years under stress, out of shape, and behind on my to-do list. But I didn\u2019t start changing things by focusing on what was wrong. I used what was wrong to help me pivot. Instead of using my position to dwell on my pain, I used the pain to shift my position.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s what we know. When we focus on what\u2019s wrong, it makes it more complicated to do what\u2019s right. That doesn\u2019t mean we ignore what\u2019s wrong. Instead, we use it as an impetus for change, recognizing that it can prevent positive change if we dwell on it instead of next steps.<\/p>\n Nobody finds a better job by complaining about the bad one. No one quits overeating by resolving not to. No one improves their marriage by fuming about how bad it currently is.<\/p>\n What we need\u2014and what researchers say actually works\u2014is a replacement strategy.<\/p>\n One of the best ways to use this these strategies is with implementation intentions. We talked before about how to use those here<\/a>. An implementation intention gives us a positive response when we face a negative circumstance.<\/p>\n When we feel like overeating, for instance, it makes more sense to go for a walk than stand by the fridge hoping your will power holds. The implementation intention just formulates a positive response. So you might say, \u201cWhen I feel like overeating, then I will go for a brief walk.\u201d<\/p>\nThe Power of Shifting Your Focus<\/h3>\n
Out with the Bad, in with the Good<\/h3>\n