{"id":26951,"date":"2014-08-29T04:55:05","date_gmt":"2014-08-29T09:55:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhyatt.com\/?p=26951"},"modified":"2014-08-29T04:55:05","modified_gmt":"2014-08-29T09:55:05","slug":"hurtful-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We all know our words are powerful. We can slice someone to pieces with just a few syllables. That\u2019s bad enough, but what happens when we turn that power on ourselves?<\/p>\n\n<p>As a young man, the writer Peter Leonard showed a short story to his famous father, novelist Elmore Leonard. Instead of encouraging his son, Elmore Leonard wrote a lengthy critique saying his characters were flat and lifeless.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t write another word of fiction for 27 years,\u201d Peter <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/books\/2013\/aug\/27\/elmore-leonards-son-to-compete-final-novel\">recalled<\/a>. But as sad as that story is, we do the same thing to ourselves, don\u2019t we?<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>How many potential writers, artists, athletes, speakers, and performers have chopped themselves off at the knees with self-criticism?<\/p>\n\t\t<aside class=\"tweetable tweetalign_center\" style=\"width:100%\">\n\t\t\t<blockquote>\n\t\t\t\tHow many writers, artists, athletes have chopped themselves off at the knees with self-criticism<cite>Michael Hyatt<\/cite>\n\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\t\t\t<ul class=\"actions\">\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"icon-arrow\"><a class=\"icon-twitter\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?source=tweetbutton&text=How%20many%20writers%2C%20artists%2C%20athletes%20have%20chopped%20themselves%20off%20at%20the%20knees%20with%20self-criticism%20https%3A%2F%2Ffullfocus.co%2F%3Fp%3D26951&via=michaelhyatt\" title=\"Share Quote on Twitter\" target=\"_blank\">Tweet<span> Quote<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/aside>\n<p>Not long ago, I was playing golf with a friend. Every time he hit a bad shot, he berated himself. \u201cUgh,\u201d he said when he really duffed one, \u201cI\u2019m such an idiot. I never hit it straight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What do you think that did for his game? Exactly! <em>It got worse the longer we played<\/em>. It got so bad in fact, I started paying more attention to his words than the game. They were:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Accusatory: \u201cYou can\u2019t hit anything!\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Abusive: \u201cYou idiot!\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Self-defeating: \u201cI knew I was going miss that.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Thinking about the game now, I\u2019m stuck on this question, and I wish I had stopped things long enough to ask my friend: \u201cWould you ever talk like that to one of your children?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maybe some, like Peter Leonard\u2019s father, would. But we usually strive to protect our kids. We recognize that words like that are harmful. So why don\u2019t we protect ourselves the same way?<\/p>\n<p>Some self-criticism is useful. But accusatory, abusive, and self-defeating criticism is useless and destructive. If we wouldn\u2019t say it to our kids, it\u2019s best to steer clear of saying it to ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>Proverbs says that \u201cDeath and life are in the power of the tongue.\u201d Our language reveals our thinking, and if it\u2019s the deadly kind, we need to change the way we address ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>There are some pretty deep psychological and spiritual reasons for this, but it also affects practical questions of accomplishing our goals. Our words can set us up to fail if we\u2019re not careful.<\/p>\n<p>Here are three steps I\u2019ve found helpful in my own life for controlling my words:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>I record disempowering words and sentences I catch myself using.<\/strong> Awareness is crucial to controlling our words. Whenever I catch myself saying something negative, I make a note of it. If there\u2019s a pattern, I can address it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I craft words and sentences to use in place of negative ones.<\/strong> We all know the best way to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. It's the same here. When I default to a negative thought, I now have phrases and affirmations I can use instead. It makes a huge difference.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I ask an accountability partner to call me on it.<\/strong> I felt odd calling my friend on his words when we were playing. I was\u2019t invited to. Instead of letting that stop someone in my life, I\u2019ve let certain people know I want them to hold me accountable for my words. Sometimes it hurts, but it\u2019s worth it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Our success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us. We have to learn how to do for ourselves what Elmore Leonard was unable in that instance to do for his son: Use the power of words to encourage and give life.<\/p>\n\t\t<aside class=\"tweetable tweetalign_center\" style=\"width:100%\">\n\t\t\t<blockquote>\n\t\t\t\tOur success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us.<cite>Michael Hyatt<\/cite>\n\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\t\t\t<ul class=\"actions\">\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"icon-arrow\"><a class=\"icon-twitter\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?source=tweetbutton&text=Our%20success%20is%20too%20important%20to%20allow%20hurtful%20words%E2%80%94especially%20our%20own%E2%80%94to%20derail%20us.%20https%3A%2F%2Ffullfocus.co%2F%3Fp%3D26951&via=michaelhyatt\" title=\"Share Quote on Twitter\" target=\"_blank\">Tweet<span> Quote<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/aside>\n<p>Language shapes our perception of reality. It\u2019s a powerful tool we can use for good or bad. It only makes sense that we would give ourselves the best advantage imaginable with the words we use.<\/p>\n<div class=\"reminder\">Have you noticed the affect your words have on your performance? What could you do to build yourself up with your words?<\/div>\n<div class=\"callout\">I am currently on sabbatical. Please excuse my absence from the comments section below. My Community Leaders will be responding in my absence. Thanks.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all know our words are powerful. We can slice someone to pieces with just a few syllables. That\u2019s bad enough, but what happens when we turn that power on ourselves? As a young man, the writer Peter Leonard showed a short story to his famous father, novelist Elmore Leonard. Instead of encouraging his son, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":26953,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[1106,622,1107,1108,39],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us. Here are three steps I use to replace hurtful words with positive ones.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Our success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us. Here are three steps I use to replace hurtful words with positive ones.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Full Focus\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/iStock_000041689250_Large.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1463\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Michael Hyatt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@michaelhyatt\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Michael Hyatt\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7\"},\"headline\":\"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/\"},\"wordCount\":764,\"commentCount\":35,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"accusation\",\"criticism\",\"hurtful words\",\"self-criticism\",\"Success\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Personal Development\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/\",\"name\":\"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00\",\"description\":\"Our success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us. Here are three steps I use to replace hurtful words with positive ones.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/\",\"name\":\"Full Focus\",\"description\":\"Win at Work and Succeed at Life\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Full Focus\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg\",\"width\":805,\"height\":178,\"caption\":\"Full Focus\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/fullfocusplanner\/\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7\",\"name\":\"Michael Hyatt\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Michael Hyatt\"},\"description\":\"Michael Hyatt is the founder and chairman of Full Focus. He has scaled multiple companies over the years, including a $250M publishing company with 700+ employees and his own leadership development company that has grown over 60% year over year for the past 4 years. Under his leadership, Full Focus has been featured in the Inc. 5000 list of the fastest-growing companies in America for three years in a row and in 2020 the company was named to Inc.\u2019s Best Work Places list. He is also the author of several New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling books, including Platform, Living Forward, Your Best Year Ever, Free to Focus and his newest book The Vision Driven Leader. He enjoys The Double Win with his wife of 40+ years, five daughters, and nine grandchildren.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\",\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/michaelhyatt\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/author\/michaelhyatt\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?","description":"Our success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us. Here are three steps I use to replace hurtful words with positive ones.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?","og_description":"Our success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us. Here are three steps I use to replace hurtful words with positive ones.","og_url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/","og_site_name":"Full Focus","article_publisher":"https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/","article_published_time":"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2200,"height":1463,"url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/iStock_000041689250_Large.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Michael Hyatt","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@michaelhyatt","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/"},"author":{"name":"Michael Hyatt","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7"},"headline":"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?","datePublished":"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00","dateModified":"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/"},"wordCount":764,"commentCount":35,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization"},"keywords":["accusation","criticism","hurtful words","self-criticism","Success"],"articleSection":["Personal Development"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/","name":"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00","dateModified":"2014-08-29T09:55:05+00:00","description":"Our success is too important to allow hurtful words\u2014especially our own\u2014to derail us. Here are three steps I use to replace hurtful words with positive ones.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/hurtful-words\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Are You Letting Hurtful Words Sabotage Your Success?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#website","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/","name":"Full Focus","description":"Win at Work and Succeed at Life","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#organization","name":"Full Focus","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Full-Focus-Logo-Tan.svg","width":805,"height":178,"caption":"Full Focus"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/facebook.com\/michaelhyatt","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/fullfocusplanner\/"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/e326267e17b1b742f4062fcbd4fdfff7","name":"Michael Hyatt","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/96062f5af6c86933efd0adddcb29204f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Michael Hyatt"},"description":"Michael Hyatt is the founder and chairman of Full Focus. He has scaled multiple companies over the years, including a $250M publishing company with 700+ employees and his own leadership development company that has grown over 60% year over year for the past 4 years. Under his leadership, Full Focus has been featured in the Inc. 5000 list of the fastest-growing companies in America for three years in a row and in 2020 the company was named to Inc.\u2019s Best Work Places list. He is also the author of several New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling books, including Platform, Living Forward, Your Best Year Ever, Free to Focus and his newest book The Vision Driven Leader. He enjoys The Double Win with his wife of 40+ years, five daughters, and nine grandchildren.","sameAs":["https:\/\/fullfocus.co","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/michaelhyatt\/","https:\/\/twitter.com\/michaelhyatt"],"url":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/author\/michaelhyatt\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26951"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26951"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26951\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}