{"id":26890,"date":"2014-08-11T05:00:17","date_gmt":"2014-08-11T10:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhyatt.com\/?p=26890"},"modified":"2014-08-11T05:00:17","modified_gmt":"2014-08-11T10:00:17","slug":"saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/saying-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Do You Dread Saying Yes But Feel Powerless Saying No?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The two most powerful words in the English language are <em>yes<\/em> and <em>no<\/em>. Unfortunately, they\u2019re also the hardest to master.<\/p>\n\n<p>Like you, I have more opportunities and requests than time and energy. I\u2019m better than ever at discerning the good from the bad, but I still sometimes agree to a project or meeting, instantly realize the mistake, and wish I had a rewind button for my life.<\/p>\n<p>Lysa TerKeurst wrestles with the same thing, and I\u2019m excited to say she\u2019s now written a book on making wise decisions in our crazy world of endless demands.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>I count Lysa as a friend. She has spoken at my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.michaelhyatt.com\/remarkable-products.html\">Launch<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.platformconference.tv\">Platform<\/a> conferences, and I\u2019ve had the privilege of speaking at her <a href=\"http:\/\/www.shespeaksconference.com\">She Speaks<\/a> conference. I love her sense of humor and her warmth. Lysa has an uncanny ability to tell hilarious stories about herself that help us better understand our own strengths and weaknesses.<\/p>\n<p>Her new book, <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thebestyes.com\">The Best Yes<\/a><\/em> is no different. It\u2019s all about how master those two powerful words, yes and no. She starts by admitting the struggle. \u201cEvery assignment feels like my assignment,\u201d she says. But then she finds herself overcommitted. \u201cI\u2019m a little overwhelmed and a lot worn down.\u201d<\/p>\n\t\t<aside class=\"tweetable tweetalign_center\" style=\"width:100%\">\n\t\t\t<blockquote>\n\t\t\t\tThe only way to keep life from sucking us dry is to change our approach to making decisions.<cite>Michael Hyatt<\/cite>\n\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\t\t\t<ul class=\"actions\">\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"icon-arrow\"><a class=\"icon-twitter\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?source=tweetbutton&text=The%20only%20way%20to%20keep%20life%20from%20sucking%20us%20dry%20is%20to%20change%20our%20approach%20to%20making%20decisions.%20https%3A%2F%2Ffullfocus.co%2F%3Fp%3D26890&via=michaelhyatt\" title=\"Share Quote on Twitter\" target=\"_blank\">Tweet<span> Quote<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/aside>\n<p>Can you identify? The only way to keep life from sucking us dry is to change our approach to making decisions. Lysa offers several ideas for sorting the good from the bad and better wielding our yeses and nos. I find these five particularly helpful:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Conduct an hours assessment.<\/strong> We only have 168 hours a week, but one reason we misuse yes and no is that we think we have more time than we actually do. Lysa recommends listing the main things we do every week and estimate the time they take. It\u2019s pretty easy to see that we actually have far less time than we think.\n<p>Lysa recommends we take the margin we\u2019ve identified and schedule it for the things we really want to accomplish and say no to most anything else.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Chase down the decision.<\/strong> Our decisions give our life\u2019s direction. Every agreement comes with a trajectory. Lysa suggests pausing before we choose and \u201cchase down\u201d the decision. Where will your decision lead? \u201cAnd then what? And then? Keep going until you walk it all the way out.\u201d\n<p>If the destination is one we\u2019ll regret, the only answer is no. Further, if we\u2019re unclear on the direction we\u2019re choosing, we should probably say no, too. There are consequences for almost everything we choose. It pays to know what they are.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Consider the trade.<\/strong> For every explicit agreement we make, there are always dozens of implicit agreements that go along with them. Choices are, as Lysa says, \u201cpackage deals.\u201d\n<p>To make good decisions, whether yes or no, requires we work on making those implicit agreements clear so we can evaluate them. What else is really in this package?<\/li>\n<li><strong>Examine your motive for choosing.<\/strong> It\u2019s far too easy to say yes or no for reasons that have little to do with the merits of the choice. Sometimes we\u2019re just afraid of upsetting someone. We want to please, to cajole, or to impress. But as Lysa says, \u201cThose who constantly try to impress others will quickly depress themselves.\u201d\n<p>We have to have enough integrity to refuse games like that. We have to look at the real pluses and minuses based on what our existing commitments and goals and then answer on the merits of the actual choice.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Recognize there\u2019s no such thing as a perfect decision.<\/strong> Sometimes we fear making the wrong call. So we hold off instead of just saying yes or no. That\u2019s especially true for saying no because we harbor a fear of missing out.\n<p>Life\u2019s too short, and stalling is too stressful to do that. Lysa says we have to make the call and trust that God will work things out for our good, as Romans 8:28 says. It\u2019s a liberating message.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>If we\u2019re going to get what we want from life, we have to master these two potent words, yes and no. \u201cEvery day we make choices,\u201d Lysa says. \u201cThen our choices make us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No pressure, right?<\/p>\n<p>Of course we all feel that pressure on the front end and learn to make better decisions. Or, we inevitably feel it on the back end when we\u2019re suffering from dumb decisions we\u2019ve made. I\u2019ll take the first of those two options every time.<\/p>\n\t\t<aside class=\"tweetable tweetalign_center\" style=\"width:100%\">\n\t\t\t<blockquote>\n\t\t\t\tIf we\u2019re going to get what we want from life, we have to master these two potent words, yes and no.<cite>Michael Hyatt<\/cite>\n\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\t\t\t<ul class=\"actions\">\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"icon-arrow\"><a class=\"icon-twitter\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?source=tweetbutton&text=If%20we%27re%20going%20to%20get%20what%20we%20want%20from%20life%2C%20we%20have%20to%20master%20these%20two%20potent%20words%2C%20yes%20and%20no.%20https%3A%2F%2Ffullfocus.co%2F%3Fp%3D26890&via=michaelhyatt\" title=\"Share Quote on Twitter\" target=\"_blank\">Tweet<span> Quote<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/aside>\n<p>These five points I\u2019ve covered here only scratch the surface. Though the target market for <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thebestyes.com\">The Best Yes<\/a><\/em> is primarily women, we would <em>all<\/em> benefit from Lysa TerKeurst\u2019s practical wisdom about making decisions.<\/p>\n<div class=\"reminder\">How often do you struggle with using yes and no?<\/div>\n<div class=\"callout\">I am currently on sabbatical. Please excuse my absence from the comments section below. My Community Leaders will be responding in my absence. Thanks.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The two most powerful words in the English language are yes and no. Unfortunately, they\u2019re also the hardest to master. Like you, I have more opportunities and requests than time and energy. I\u2019m better than ever at discerning the good from the bad, but I still sometimes agree to a project or meeting, instantly realize [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":26891,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[44,1100,247,1101],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Do You Dread Saying Yes But Feel Powerless Saying No?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Life presents more opportunities than the time or energy they require. 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