{"id":11095,"date":"2019-12-02T04:06:24","date_gmt":"2019-12-02T10:06:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhyatt.com\/?p=11095"},"modified":"2019-12-02T04:06:24","modified_gmt":"2019-12-02T10:06:24","slug":"5-reasons-why-you-need-to-get-better-at-saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fullfocus.co\/5-reasons-why-you-need-to-get-better-at-saying-no\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Reasons You Need to Get Better at Saying No"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have a hard time saying no<\/em>. Perhaps you do too. This problem is more common than we think, especially for those who are empathetic or nurturing. We just hate the thought of hurting someone else\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n\n

It was a long time before I noticed this problem in myself. For most of my career, I\u2019ve had administrative assistants who said no<\/em> for me. If someone had a request, they had to get through an assistant first.<\/p>\n

This gave me the buffer I needed<\/a> to consider the request more carefully. When I declined the request, I nearly always let my assistant do it for me. The fact that I didn\u2019t have to deliver the bad news myself kept me focused and productive, and it helped preserve relationships.<\/p>\n\n

But here\u2019s the thing. I didn't realize what a gift that was. When I left the corporate world, I figured I could get along fine without an assistant. That meant the requests all came straight to me. And, left to my own devices<\/a>, I said yes<\/em> far, far too often.<\/p>\n

A third of the time I wanted to kick myself as soon as I did. Another third of the time I wanted to kick myself shortly afterward. How did I get myself into this mess?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSaying No has always been important,\u201d says William Ury in his book, The Power of a Positive No<\/em><\/a>, \u201cbut perhaps never as essential a skill as it is today.\u201d The reasons he lists are the ones I experienced. All my yeses meant I was overcommitted, shortchanging my relationships, and unable to do my best work.<\/p>\n

I bet you can relate.<\/p>\n

The Reason We Struggle<\/h3>\n

Why do we have such a hard time saying no<\/em>? Ury says it's because we want to protect our relationships, and that's definitely a big part of it. But we even say yes<\/em> to perfect strangers. I think it has to do with keeping up appearances. We want to appear helpful or can-do. But it\u2019s a trap.<\/p>\n

When we say yes<\/em> too often, we tend to hurt our relationships. Not only that, but our performance suffers, so it's impossible to keep up appearances. We let everyone down, especially ourselves.<\/p>\n

After a while of fielding all my own requests, I decided I needed an administrative assistant<\/a> again. But before I hired an admin, I started turning my no<\/em> boat around on my own. How?<\/p>\n

I resolved to say no<\/em> to everything unless there was a compelling reason to say yes<\/em>. I switched my default response from an affirmative to a negative. Things changed with just that determination, but I was able go even further when I wrote down five reasons for saying no<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Say No<\/em> for a Better Yes<\/em><\/h3>\n

This list is the why<\/em> behind the what<\/em>. It turns out there are very good reasons for flexing your no<\/em> muscle. If you struggle with this, I think these five reasons might help you as well.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I wrote.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

If I don\u2019t say no,<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Other peoples\u2019 priorities will take precedence over ours.<\/li>\n
  2. Mere acquaintances\u2014people we barely know!\u2014will crowd out time with family and close friends.<\/li>\n
  3. We will not have the time we need for rest and recovery.<\/li>\n
  4. We will end up frustrated and stressed.<\/li>\n
  5. We won't be able to say yes<\/em> to the really important things.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/div>\n

    This last one was the clincher for me.<\/p>\n

    Here\u2019s what Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch say in their book, How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty<\/em><\/a>:<\/p>\n

    Out of guilt or fear of confrontation, we take on more projects, invest in someone else\u2019s priorities . . . In the process, we dissipate our most valuable personal resources\u2014time, energy, and money\u2014on things that aren't important to us. Each time we agree to something without enthusiasm for interest, we waste a little more of these precious resources.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Now let\u2019s turn that around. Every time we say no<\/em> to something that is not important, we are saying yes<\/em> to something that is: our work, our relationships, our resources, our margin. How often are you saying no?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I have a hard time saying “no.” Perhaps you do, too. I think it is more common than we think, especially for those who are empathetic or nurturing. Here are five reasons why we must get better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":37796,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[244,245,104,78,246,247,89],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n5 Reasons Why You Need to Get Better at Saying \u201cNo\u201d<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I have a hard time saying \u201cno.\u201d Perhaps you do, too. I think it is more common than we think, especially for those who are empathetic or nurturing. 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